Oh my God! Oh my God! :)

The past couple of days I've been weird. Reason for it is that I'm pregnant. I found out around 12:30am on January 31st 2013. Then later that day I went for blood work and my HCG is in the 1,000's. I am about 3-4 weeks. I'll be going in for more blood work Monday morning.
We are both happy and excited. Last night I ordered myself 5 pairs of yoga pants, The Little Mermaid DVD, the morning sickness bracelet, the book what to eat when you're expecting.
I'm going to have to order myself a pregnancy pillow.
I went food shopping:
Dietz & Watson buffalo chicken
Diets & Watson Munster cheese
oranges
spinach artichoke hummus
honey dew melon
lemons
apples
veggie cheese
cantaloupe
salad
watermelon
lean beef burgers
strawberries
5 jars of pickles
and I got 3 packages of light burger buns they were only $1.25 each instead of $3-5 each!
And 3 loafs of bread. I froze two of the loafs just to have it on hand.
I'm going to have to apply for fuel assistance and for WIC since I need some help since I'm on disability.
Right now I'm laying down watching Lifetime's "15 & Pregnant".
I finished paying my bills and paid off my Colt and now with everything all said and done I'm broke now for the month.

Oh well life goes on.....

Well I am pissed that hubby got tomorrow and Christmas Day off as well. Oh well.
My plan is 100-200 calories a day 'til I lose this weight, hardcore restriction and Adderall will help me get there

Restricting intake

288 cals today.( 2 chicken sausages, 1 egg, 4 egg whites.) and I took my Adderall XR and vitamins.
400 yesterday not bad.

So I wonder if anyone is ever going to write me comments or something on here. Maybe I shouldn't come on here anymore. I'm not sure.
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My 2013 New Year's Resolution:

Save money!!
Lose weight lose weight weight!
Lose the boobs that I have!
Buy more skinny clothes
Be beautiful
Have confidence
Feel better about myself during sex.

Blah

11:30pm
400 cals today,
8 fat grams,
58grams of protein,
20 carb grams.....
water 0
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Had breakfast: 100 calories of egg whites(20 grams of protein) and 160 calories(14 grams of protein) of Chobani strawberry banana yogurt 2%(I wish they'd make 0%!)

mannequin trigger

Today we went to the mall and I was poking around and then went to Victoria Secrets to just look around & the fucking mannequin triggered me a bit. I want to be as thin as that fucking mannequin!!!!
I know I can't be it's height but still.....
Tomorrow, I'm getting up as a normal hour by like 8am and I'm going to have oatmeal(100 calorie oatmeal package) & scrambled egg whites(it's the 100% liquid egg whites)(I'll put some red pepper flakes and Frank's Red Hot on it)
(Spiciness is suppose to supposedly speed up your metabolism so then you'll be burning even more calories. I know that my BMR is 1628.5 if that's even really correct or not)
(In order to have my BMI of 20 I'll have to weigh 102lbs)
I'll measure out the egg whites. Then afterwards I'll take my Adderall XR.
Also I need to get this blood work done so I can go to the gym and work out with the trainer. I'm fucking nervous about working with a trainer. I do want to work with him/her then go by myself to do the pool and sauna and I have an treadmill and elliptical here at the house. I just need to get fucking motivated to use the elliptical since I can't use the treadmill right now.

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Emotions suck major ass

I feel a lot of emotions right now.
I just don't know anything anymore.

I want to be thin

I want to be thin.